I am an adult child of an undiagnosed, mentally ill mother and the time has come for me to finally separate myself from her completely. I am in my forties and still struggle with the mother wound, the boundaries, and the intense emotions around my relationship with my mom and to be honest, with my two siblings as well. I am the youngest of three and feel so far removed from them. I’ve arrived at a place in my life where I am just tired. Too tired. Too tired of the one-sided relationship where I am in service of my mom and where she doesn’t have a clue and is not remotely interested in what is going on in my life. I am tired of living in stress and in deep sadness with constant feelings of loss. I am tired of feeling isolated and alone in my family of origin and now I feel somewhat motivated. I feel motivated to do something differently, like separate myself from her completely, so here I am, putting pen to paper (keyboard to computer screen). If you are in a similar position, I am so sorry and this is fucking hard, but good for you. You deserve better. I deserve better. We deserve better.
Of course, there’s more “About Me” than the above paragraph. This isn’t my whole identity or my whole life, but it sure takes up a lot of space. I am married and I am the parent of a teenager. I have two small dogs. I like to laugh. A lot. I go to therapy regularly. I’ve been casually searching for a hobby for the last couple of decades without anything promising but the search isn’t over. I love true crime documentaries and people fascinate me. I am determined to make my 40s and 50s everything that I want them to be. I am determined to be happier, healthier, more joyful, and more present.