The Self-Made Orphan

Stories of separating myself from my family of origin.

  • Nine Months

    It has been nine months since I’ve spoken to my mother and several months since I’ve written anything here. Nine months. A whole pregnancy term; not that I am pregnant but when I think of it that way, it feels like such a long time. So many firsts have passed us by- my father’s birthday,…

  • Two Parties and a Funeral and Maybe a Hospital Visit

    That is what my weekend will consist of. Two parties and a funeral and maybe a hospital visit…to see my mother. The parties are in the southern part of the state and the funeral is in the northern part of the state and I am determined to make all three. This will be the first…

  • I wish I wanted my mommy

    It’s been three and a half months since I’ve spoken to my mother, and it feels like it’s been so much longer. I recently had Covid, and it was awful, absolutely awful. I was so sick and miserable for nearly two weeks and during my daughter’s 16th birthday too. While I was sick, I remember…

  • Happy Birthday, Mom.

    The birthday card I wish could be true: To The Best Mom in the World, Happy birthday, Mom! 76! Wow! I am so grateful you have made it this far! My siblings and I are so lucky to have you around and, in our lives, and in our children’s lives. You look fabulous and are…

  • Mother’s Day Doom

    It’s been 45 days since I’ve spoken to my mother. Yesterday was Mother’s Day and I fully intended on writing and being able to capture and share my feelings as they came up because I knew they would be colorful. I knew Mother’s Day would be difficult. It always is. I just did not expect…

  • Having Feelings Doesn’t Make You a Little Bitch

    It’s been 37 days since I’ve spoken to my mother. It doesn’t. Having feelings does not make you a little bitch. And it’s taken me so long to realize that. I’m that friend that used to always ask how you are doing and was so willing to help you get through tough times and problem…

  • Voicemails

    To be read with force and disgust: “Hi, this is me! You don’t have to keep on calling me and telling me you don’t give a shit! I understand that! You’re not worried about my groceries. You’re not worried about my income tax. You’re not worried about a goddamn thing! That’s fine! Just FORGET it….